Why moms are obsessed with pooh...

As a teenager, my sisters and I used to tease my mom that she was obsessed with bowel movements. Today, I was startled by the thought that I am kind of fixated on pooh. Probably because I am in the process of potty training (but I will get to that later) I think all moms have pooh on the brain. Here is why. You bring this beautiful sweet baby home from the hospital only to discover that it poops every time it eats! You became alarmed at the sheer number of diapers you go through daily. And not only that, but the pooh does not stay neatly contained in the diaper--it squirts up the back and out down the legs. After a four months or so you may not have nearly as many diapers, but then they start smelling bad. As mothers, we endure this because we love our children. I remember before I had kids changing a cousin's child's diaper and gagging. Now I can wipe bums with the best of them! Finally, the stinky diapers get to be too much for you (or in Kes's case, she comes to me and tells me that she pooped and wants me to change her diaper) and you think, I can potty train this kid. This is undoubtedly the worst time of your collective lives together. Now I have heard of the "fabled" easy to potty train kid--but I have three kids and none of them have been easy to potty train. Pull ups are a novelty at first but my children have no problem doing their business in them just like a diaper. Nope. I have to just put on the undies and pray for strength! And then come the accidents. For some reason, my kids can pee pretty well, but struggle when it comes to number two. And that is when things really go south on you. You are trying to shimmy a full pair of underwear down the legs without smearing poop all over it and yourself. Swear words are flying around in your head--and maybe one or two accidentally tumbles out on your tongue. My sister just told me she read in a parenting magazine that the average child takes 4-6 months to be fully potty trained. I told her that was the worst news I had heard in a long time! So if you survive potty training you have to deal with streak marks! My daughter manages to avoid this, but Bridger just doesn't seem to care. I had to give him a lesson in proper wiping techniques! After all a mother goes through, it's really no wonder that when a child tells you he/she has a tummy ache, your automatic response is "do you need to go to the bathroom?"