What a day to miss church!

Okay, so we stayed home from church today because Kes is sick. I thought nothing of it until Levi (who had gone to church) called me to say he wouldn't be home for awhile. I thought nothing of it...Levi often is an hour or two later getting home than us because he has to help with tithing. Then he told me the most amazing story! The missionaries have been bringing an investigator to church for a few months. She is from Lame Deer (the Indian reservation 25 miles south of our town). Anyways,this investigator, Crystal sometimes brings her niece and nephew to church with her. They are a little wild but have been doing better and everyone thinks Crystal is great. Anyways, today during third hour, Crystal rummaged through coats hanging in the hall until she found car keys. She stole someones car! She took off and left her niece and nephew at the church! After church, everyone was looking for Crystal and then Sister Nash came in and said both her keys and car where gone! Wild! Levi had to give a statement to the police (as did her niece and nephew who testified that they saw her take the keys out of the coat pocket before church started) When he called me, I was quiet disappointed that I had missed all the excitement. He told me he was glad I had stayed home as our van was not that had been stolen. I told him he really didn't need to worry because I put my keys in my diaper bag and they are really really hard to find. In speak from experience...sometimes it takes me 15 minutes to find my keys--but at least now I know they are really much safer that way! Could I market a really messy diaper bag as an anti theft device?

Kes can sleep anywhere!

Another one bites the dust!

So two nights ago, our dang cat (I think it was trying to get revenge from us spaying it) pushed Bridger's fish tank off the book case somehow (as well as his rock collection which was also in a glass bowl). I guess we must have been tired as we all slept through it. At 2:30 in the morning Bridger called for me asking me to get him a drink of water. I wasn't completely awake as I walked into his room and handed him the water. But even in my delirium I thought, Hmmmm....something seems wrong here...there is glass and rocks and what's that smell...fish water...? As I came to my senses a little more I saw Bridger's fish named Bite laying on the floor dead. Now I wasn't completely sensible because I announced to Bridger that his fish was dead. He responded by sobbing uncontrollably. I was thinking, "good grief. It is just a fish. And I was the one who fed it and kept the tank clean." Of course none of that matters at three in the morning. I finally got Bridger to settle down by promising that I would talk to dad about a replacement fish in the morning. I personally am trying to get out of it...I think fish are the dumbest pets ever! You can't play with them or even touch them...all you do is feed them and clean up after them. I should have been overjoyed that Bite finally bit the dust--but as I got into bed my mind was reverberating between two thoughts...what a huge mess awaited me come morning and how on earth did I sleep through that crash...someone could have broken a window and got into our home and I wouldn't have heard it...neither thought was too conducive to sleep. But fall asleep I did. That pretty much set a theme for the day (water messes). Bridger spilled water all over himself right before he was supposed to leave for the bus--making him miss the bus. I don't care to dwell on the negative but it was not a great day. At about five, Kes said she needed to go potty. I bent over to flush the toilet(as it was full of pee pee) and my keys fell into the toilet and disappeared! Aaahh! My only set of keys for the van--as to make a duplicate costs $100. Not to mention what it would do to our septic system! So without delay I threw my arm down into the pee pee toilet as far as it would go and caught the very edge of my keys as they were about to disappear forever. A fitting end to the day I thought to myself as I changed my urine soaked shirt. Some days are like that...even in Australia!

Serenity Now!

While I was in yoga class we were doing our final meditation and breathing when our instructor tried something new. She had us cover our right nostril and so we could only breath out of our left. She "claimed" research had been done stating breathing out of only your left nostril has a calming effect. I started to chuckle to myself thinking of the situations where I could suddenly plug my right nostril. If the kids are driving me crazy I'll just walk around with a piece of cotton stuck up my nose. What about at church? Okay--there is five minutes until primary and you won't be able to do sharing time after all--enter finger into nose. Maybe I should just use a piece of cotton at church too as it is kind of stress full after all. When people would ask me, do you have a bloody nose, I would serenely reply, "No just staying calm." Or how about we were supposed to be somewhere five minutes ago, Kes is screaming, and Bridger can't find his shoes, and Bailey is pouting that her polly pocket can't come with her. I would just take a deep breath and say, "Now lets all just take a minute and stick our finger up our nose and I am sure we will all feel better."

Interesting compliment

So today at church Levi's cousin told me "I like your dress--You look very lanky." Is that a compliment? I laughed and told her thanks. Since Bailey told me that I looked pregnant in the dress--maybe lanky evens out pregnant. Other mixed compliments I remember receiving through my life. "I like your lipstick...it looks like you had a collagen injection." Here is another good one. " Who cuts your hair?" I tell her. "My stylist told me when I moved here just to ask someone (who I like their haircut) who cuts there hair. The problem is I don't like anybodies hair in Colstrip." I was left thinking was that a compliment or a slight? But as the wise Jane Austin once said, "What is life for [...]but to laugh at our neighbors in our turn."

Meltdown update

Week 2--Lost one pound. Celebrated by coming home and having a piece of peanut butter pie...well it was a small piece...kind of.

A rough day for the cat...

So today we took the cat in to get her shots and get her spayed. The poor thing had a tough day. It started out by not being able to eat breakfast (as it was going under anesthetic later on). Then I made the mistake of telling the kids we where taking the cat to get shots today. The "loved" the cat up all morning--which is a nice way of saying they mauled and mooched the poor thing. Then as we were driving over this morning--the poor, frightened cat (who had never been in a car before) was sitting on Bailey's lap when we started to move. It freaked out and claws came out. Poor Bailey got one in the leg. She retaliated by "spanking" mouse and dropping her to the ground. The cat climbed under the seat and mewed the entire 30 minuted drive there. Not pleasant. When we went to pick it up--it was completely delirious from the drugs. After a few instructions--they sent us home. Fortunately,she was so out of it, she didn't move or make a sound on the way home. To add insult to injury, her entire under belly is now bald. When we got home I said we need to be gentle with the kitty because of the drugs she had she won't land on her feet if she jumps from high up (according to the vet). Bridger confirmed this a few minutes later by walking in and informing me, "Yeah, the vets right. I accidentally dropped her and she landed on her side not on her feet." Our poor kitty. Hope it survives us.

Mr. Smarty pants...

My sister, Kodie wrote some funny things her boys said. It must run in the family. Right after dinner, Bridger came to show me his finger. He had put a toy spatula which had a small hole on the end on his finger like a ring. Unfortunately, Bridger has meaty hands and sausage fingers. So the finger has swollen and turned a deep purple. I have to give myself credit for not totally panicking and reacting to that panic by laughing hysterically. I calmly poured a cup of oil on his finger and pulled with all my might. After about 30 seconds where I thought, crap--now I have to go to the emergency room--it finally pulled off. I am sure it didn't feel good--but to Bridger's credit he didn't cry. About five minutes later, I remembered that he still had his spelling words to do. I said to him, "Bridger time to do your homework." To which he replied with only the complete sincerity only Bridger can muster--"but mom, you wouldn't do that to a boy with a purple finger, would you?" He didn't have to do his spelling words.

A good memory...bedtime giggles

Bridger has been reading me a book every night as part of our bedtime routine so that he can get his book it filled. Anyways, last night he was reading Green Eggs and Ham by Doctor Suess. It was a rare time when it was just him and I because the girls where already asleep. I am sure all of you are familiar with the book. So if you have this book, pull it out and look at the illustrations. In some of the drawings, Dr. Suess draws a bum crack on his characters. A fact that Bridger pointed out to me by pointing to it, then covering his mouth with his hand and giggling behind it. Maybe it was sleep deprivation or just that I was in a silly mood--but I started giggling too (I do have to say in my defense--more at Bridger's reaction than the bum crack). And before I knew it we where both laughing hysterically! One would get composure and then the other one of us would start laughing again and it would start all over. We must have laughed like this for fifteen minutes. Tears where running down both of our faces and I couldn't breathe and my sides ached--but it was so much fun! Bridger and I both have the same good belly laugh when we get laughing really hard. All day today it has just made me smile every time I thought about it. A silly, simple memory I know...but often those are the best ones!

Laundry day and lists...

I don't know if anyone else is like me...but I kinda of take the weekend off in terms of housework. So, I always have a very messy house on Monday. Also, because I HATE doing laundry I try to do it only once a week. (Which of course means I am doing laundry from dawn to dusk--and it often spills over to Tuesday...sometimes Wednesday) I also often have to run errands on Monday too. It makes for a very busy day. So what is the point of this rambling about the domestic disaster I face every Monday. It brings me to my slight OCD thing I do. I make lists for everything. But especially "TO Do" lists. My planner is always filled. I just take so much satisfaction in crossing things off of the list. I admit that sometimes I add things I have already done so that I can cross them off my list. It just feels so good--you list makers out there know what I mean. I should add, that while I am a list maker, I rarely get through my lists by the end of the day. You see not everything on a list is created equal...clean the house takes five hours to do. However, take the garbage to the curb only takes five minutes. So you can see why when I have lots of time consuming items on my lists, I will quickly write something like, "brush teeth" or "make bed" done! Yes! So yesterday I did get pretty close to everything done--more than 60% and that is a good day--one worth writing about for me! (And I didn't even add "brush teeth!")

Things that made me laugh today...

Bailey (after looking at my legs) "Mom, the hairs on your legs are a weapon that could poke peoples!"

Bailey crying comes to me and says, "Mom, Bridger called me hideous!" Mom laughs. Bailey cries harder. Mom-"Bridger, do you even know what hideous means?" Bridger--"Sure. It means your full of hidey."

Meltdown update

So it is now week two of meltdown...and even after the 4 cookie day (that's right, I ate another cookie after I wrote the blog) day I still lost three pounds and went down 1 % body fat! Admittedly, on pound at least had to be water weight as I exercised for two hours on about 5 swallows of water! I also (as part of the meltdown) had to have a fitness assessment. It was actually not as horrible as I thought it was going to be. I got my measurements, had a cardio test, strength test, and a flexibility test. Turns out I have low blood pressure whatever that means, but according to my cardio recovery time,turns out my heart is in excellent shape! Also, I have to brag about this...I have above average flexibility! Now if I could harness my powers...maybe I have a future as an acrobat!

I love my family

So for Christmas, we got to go to Emmett to see my family. Everyone was there. We had a great time. Lots of good food, family fun, visiting,laughing and hugging...and a fight or two thrown in just to make things interesting...the recipe to a perfect family reunion.

Bridger Bean!

Bridger decided to try out for the Missoula Children's theater play (it comes to town twice a year)this time it was Jack and the Beanstalk. I was a little bit worried because about half the kids get cut--but anyone who knows Bridger knows he has a flare for the dramatic! He made the part of a Mexican Jumping Bean. He practiced all week and the play was on Saturday. He did great. The cutest bean out there! (In my biased opinion).

BAILEY LOST HER 2ND TOOTH!

A poopy bath experience

On Saturday night while I was bathing the kids, Bailey pooped in the bath tub. Now, I've come to expect this with Kes but definately not Bailey (who is now almost 6). When I (in my exasperation and fury) asked why on earth she did that--her reply was simple--well, I would be cold if I got out of the bath. To which in my exasperation I exclaimed, "well you had to get out of the bath anyways as soon as you pooped in it!" She pondered that. But my fury was not over. I coldly told her,"Bailey do you know what people do to their pet dogs when they don't want them to poop somewhere--they rub their noses in the poop. That is what I am going to do to you if you ever poop in the tub again!" Both she and Bridger gasped and then Bridger jumped to her defense. "mom, if you do that you won't go live with Jesus and Heavenly Father after you die--you will go live with Satan in (dramatic pause) Hell...." To which I calmly replied, "well Bailey better not poop in the tub again or she will have a mom in Hell!" Bridger, realizing the threat was not enough to sway me, upped the ante. "Alright mom, if you don't repent right now--i'm going to write a letter to Santa and there will be no presents for you next year!

Book diets

Well, I finally got my house clean--so I thought to myself...hmmm...I have lots of thank you notes to write, play with my children, or I should work on my sharing time that I have to do on Sunday. Guess what I actually did? I read a book for two hours. Admittedly, it was a very good book. A tree grows in Brooklyn. But then as I looked at my children whom I had ignored for the last few hours and at my stack of unwritten cards and the guilt started to settle on me. Time for another book diet. Let me explain. I love reading. It is my absolute favorite past time. Unfortunately, when I get a really good book--I do very little else except read. Laundry piles up, the house is a mess--you get the idea. In fact, the week I read the Twilight series (which admittedly, was not so great from a literary perspective--sorry Twilight fans--but a very good page turner) was possibly the worst things got. My wonderful husband actually told me--I can't wait until you are done with those books! :) I've tried moderating myself...I can read a chapter after I finish cleaning the bathroom for example. Unfortunately, one chapter turns into two then three. Therefore, I put myself on book diets--getting only books that are easy to put down (like self help books--yawn!) and only allowing myself the luxury of a good juicy novel every so often. Hence the name book diet. Of course anyone who knows me knows that I am a terrible dieter. I am doing a meltdown this year (trying to loose 10lbs) after I weighed myself and found that I had gained 6 lbs over the holidays (I call it my christmas cheer and I carry it mostly in the midsection--like santa...) . Part of this meltdown is rigorous exercise (which I like) the other half is keeping a food journal that keeps track of caloric intake and fat (which I don't like ). However, I was very good....for three days. Then the siren call of sugar hit hard. I remembered my mom gave me a cookie mix at Christmas-bingo! I made it and ate some cookie dough and three cookies. There. I've confessed. I just can't bring myself to write it in my food journal. Maybe I should add the fact that while I was eating the cookies I was reading my book for two hours too!

Post holiday cleaning

I got home from vacation and immediately had a huge mess. Not only did I have all the unpacking and dirty laundry to deal with but also all the Christmas stuff to put away. (I wonder why when it is so much fun to get Christmas stuff out--it is such drudgery putting it back away.) Here is how my week has gone so far.
Monday. Exercised.Laundry started. Some unpacking done. Ran errands. Can't see the floor. Husband puts new vacuum together(old one died before Christmas) trying to entice me to use it. No clean floor to use it on.
Tuesday. Exercised.Folding all the wrinkled laundry that has been sitting in baskets for a day now. Kitchen clean! Still haven't used vacuum. Went to story time and tumbling. Explained to husband that if I had been home, the house would be clean. On the upside, so much junk in our room that Kes is too scared to come join us in the middle of the night in our bed.
Wednesday. Exercised. Husband came home for lunch. I told him that I was definitely going to clean the house this afternoon. He smiled and didn't say a thing, but in his smile I the "you are full of it but I love you to much to say anything." What I read into his smile made me feel motivated. Got my whole upstairs cleaned! Used the vacuum! Cleaned all three (thats right...not one..not two..but three) bathrooms. Still need to tidy a little downstairs, but vast improvement!
*For those of you who are reading this and thinking--my goodness, what does she do all day--why can't she get her house clean--let me tell you something. I could clean my house in an hour if I didn't have kids! Have you ever tried doing a job while being interrupted every few minutes? About every two minutes I hear "mom!mom!mom!mommmmmm!!" this sentence could be finished with any of the following "could you get...." or "She hit me!" or "I need a bandaid." So when I am not being the maid, the cook, the referee or the nurse--I try to get some cleaning in. But I am outnumbered! The fact is that while just the one of you is cleaning three of them are making messes! I've decided to make something my mom told me my personal motto about my house--"clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy!"

Yes, I've become a blogger!

I have finally decided to do a blog. I confess it was not to keep in touch, or because people have asked me to. No. It was because I watched the movie Julia and Julie. Did it make me want to cook great french food? No. I'm not that ambitious (although it did make me want to eat that kind of food). It just made me want to blog. So for those of you who may decide to follow this blog, here is my disclaimer--Nothing fancy(lets call a spade a spade, I'm a technical idiot, it will be a miracle if I can figure out how to post pictures) just me rambling about my day to day life.